7 Times Fast

24 Oct

Tonight I spent some quality time with Gizmo, my 8 year old Maltese.

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Today a close friend (and coworker) had to go through one of the toughest choices humans have to make; having a pet put to rest. After months of personal turmoil, it was made clear that she would have to say goodbye to not one but both of her elderly Huskies. I can’t even explain how much my heart hurts for her.

Dogs, and animals in general but I’m a total dog lover, make their way deep into your heart and snuggle in as part of who you are, as part of your family, and love you unconditionally. I will never understand why they are brought into our lives for such a short chapter but they are and they change your life – and just like people – you have to remember to appreciate every moment with them.

Every tear dropped, Gizmo notices and comforts me. Every laugh David or I have, Gizmo is there wagging his tail. Every night when I sleep, Gizmo lays against me like he’s telling me he will be there every morning when I wake up. Even as I type this, he lays by my feet making sure I know how much he needs me; and how much I need him.

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8 years ago, David and I went to look at a litter of puppies, the next week he surprised me with the exact one who reached out and picked us, he came into our lives when we definitely didn’t plan on having a dog (even just rereading this, I sound like I’m talking about a baby! haha – he is our baby!) but we had such a connection with this dog that it was impossible to ignore or pass up. Our friends tease us because while I was in high school and then out of town for college, David and I had split custody…David had him while I was gone away at school and on the weekends he stayed with me. I remember our wedding day and how happy I was that we would all be together for the first time and I know Gizmo wouldn’t have it any other way now that he’s got a taste of the spoiled, only child life!

I may not have known how much I’d need this 4 legged, brown beaded eyed, lover of walks, shoulder massages, and peanut butter, back then, but today, in the heartbreak of our infertility journey, I realize why he was put into our lives.

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This journey has made me feel so many emotions. It’s made me feel so much jealousy and guilt, it makes me feel angry and hateful, it makes me feel like a burden – which all results in me feeling disconnected with who I really am. Sometimes dogs can make that all go away without any words, without sympathy, without judgement. It’s amazing how pets show us every day that they are there for us in such a simple way; pure love. 

“A person can learn a lot from a dog, even a loopy one like ours. Marley taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things-a walk in the woods, a fresh snowfall, a nap in a shaft of winter sunlight. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about optimism in the face of adversity. Mostly, he taught me about friendship and selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty.”
― John GroganMarley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog

Tonight I am going to bed cuddling him a little closer, letting him give me lots of kisses (even though I swear if there was an award for worst breath in the world he’d be proudly holding that gold medal around his neck), and soaking up all of the simple things in life.

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We love you G-Money!

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