The Window

20 Feb

Outside the rain runs down the, dirtied by months of ice and snow, window. The first rain always makes things so gloomy until the salted, filthy snow melts into the ground and the muddy, brown grass turns green again.

Gizmo is so over the dry winter static

Gizmo is so over the dry winter static

Iowa winters in particular can be long and dreadful. The first snowfall is exciting and beautiful, but after the holidays are over, the frigid temperatures and constant snow starts to cloud over everyone – making it hard to remember the joys of summer and the times when happiness comes so easily.

Thankfully, no season in life lasts forever.  The winter season is slowly shifting towards spring; flowers, sun, and the comfort of warmer air. I look out that same window and see my reflection staring back.

I snap back into reality and realize that that reflection says it all.

Much like the weather, we (David and I) are in a season of waiting. A season that feels similar to a long, gloomy winter that never seems to end.

My hope has started to shift from wanting to experience the next season, to getting the most out of this one. I refuse to waste this time in our lives and have it be forever haunted by that deep pain at the bottom of my stomach that includes the broken pieces of so many hard days.

Time will continue to pass; and with no control from us, the snow will melt, and a new season will start

So why not play in the snow?

I am making a conscious effort to enjoy this life of mine; every second. I don’t think we can ever try too hard at living in the present, and unless we make that conscious effort to soak in each breath, we’ll go back to breathing just to live, not to really live. We are instinctively always making goals, plans, looking at the future, and trying to change, but what happens if we just stop trying so hard? Will the time we spend on worrying and planning be replaced with actually doing and maybe in the end, feeling happier, less stressed, and more successful at the things that really matter to us?

Isn’t that what life is about?

If (personally) I spend less time on Facebook, and more time on practicing yoga, will that make me happier? Yes. If I spend less time thinking about how to use my creativity, and more time using it, will that make me happier? Yes. If I spend less time worrying about when we will become parents, and more time trusting God will make it happen one way or another, will I feel comforted? Yes. If I spend less time worrying about what work needs to be done, and more time spent with my family, trying to be the best wife, daughter, sister, and aunt (and another niece/nephew on the way! Surprise!!!! 🙂 🙂 !!!!), will that make me happier? More than ever.

So why do we waste so much time on doing those things that don’t necessarily make us happier? Maybe we take all of the good things for granted by not fully being in the present? We are always one step ahead of ourselves.

This time, as I look out the window, I see the birds who have stuck out this long winter flying around and the trees that stood strong as ice and snow weighted them down for months, and the blue sky that hides behind the thick, gray cloud cover…

IMG_20140220_155059

** Prepare for goosebumps**
I wrote this post earlier today, looking out this very same window (the window I talk about above)…hours upon hours after I finished writing this post, the rain picks up and a storm rolls in (remember it’s only February still, so any type of rain, especially a thunderstorm is really out of the ordinary!). After some time passes, the skies get a little brighter and I glance out the window just in time to catch this beautiful full rainbow which appeared just long enough for me to snap a picture, directly outside of that very same window I reflected about hours before. I immediately understood what I was being told by this symbol of hope. Everything is going to be ok. Every season, every storm; passes. 

I’m being looked after.

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11 Responses to “The Window”

  1. Lindsey February 20, 2014 at 5:59 pm #

    What a beautiful post Mal!

    • Mallory February 21, 2014 at 6:37 am #

      Thanks Lindsey!!! ❤ xo

  2. Carey February 20, 2014 at 6:18 pm #

    I love Gizmo’s static ;)…and the post of course!

    • Mallory February 21, 2014 at 6:37 am #

      haha thanks Carey! 😉 I think I am more bothered by Gizmo’s static than he is, I don’t know how anyone could have their hair stick up so much and not be able to press it back down on his own! haha ❤ thanks for always reading 🙂

  3. Priscilla February 20, 2014 at 7:11 pm #

    I got the chills reading this post…so much of it feels so familiar as I remember being in your shoes not long ago. Only I didn’t take the time to truly live and appreciate that time until I came out of it…I commend you for realizing the beauty in the storm and having faith this too shall pass and when it does, you’ll be left with a feeling of renewed spirit and hope for your happy ending ❤ you are one of the most strong and inspiring women that I know and I have no doubt that your "rainbow" will shine for you very soon~xoxo

    • Mallory February 21, 2014 at 6:36 am #

      You are part of the reason I can feel that appreciative of this journey. You have shown me the beauty in this storm and faith that I will overcome this and we will have our dreams come true, and it’s ok to hope for the someday but to enjoy this day. I would definitely not be this strong without inspiring mentors like you in my life. Thanks for being the angel who’s helped guide me through! ❤ you!

      • Priscilla February 21, 2014 at 9:20 am #

        Awe ; ) Thank you, that means a lot to me…Love you too ❤ ❤ ❤

  4. Whole Belly February 20, 2014 at 10:46 pm #

    A very inspiring a beautiful post! Your words really spoke to me as this is something I’ve been reminding myself of all week. I’ve gotten so caught up in my worry and fear that I’ve stopped actually living. I’m making much more of a conscious effort to find things to be thankful for and your words are of great encouragement. Thank you! And now I’m off to find a way to enjoy this storm.

    • Mallory February 21, 2014 at 6:32 am #

      Thanks Heather! I think everyone, no matter what they are going through, has to remember to really live in the moment. It’s so easy to look ahead, much easier than just living today. Thinking of you and sending big hugs!

  5. Kacy March 10, 2014 at 11:02 pm #

    What a beautiful post. I love it, thank you for writing it. I feel exactly the same way but it is so hard to be thankful and present in the moment sometimes.
    1stcomesloveblog.wordpress.com

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